I hope I get good enough

A week and a half ago I was at a Resistance Un-Ball (it was a protest event on the day of Inauguration). Several people got up in the various open mic sessions to read a poem (not my thing), tell some jokes (definitely not my thing), and play an instrument (want it to be my thing).

I realize that one of the motivators for me too is that I express myself well face to face. I'm a bit charismatic in my "on" mode for work. I can get very animated and lively when I'm passionate about something and I would like to be able to do that through music too.  There is just something so wonderful when the mood transforms through song. I don't have the voice for it. I can sing just fine, but it's not a stand out voice. My voice is best suited among many in a chorus helping the altos remember their notes/parts. When I was younger my voice was soprano (lost some of my upper register over time), but they used my ability to keep to a part for the altos to help the other altos and even that singing is ancient history - like nearly 30 years ago. OMG I'm getting old.

You can't do that kind of spontaneous song with a horn. But you can with a banjo or guitar or accordion or piano - but a piano has to be around for that as, of course, you can't transport it easily!

Like, watch these clips. They aren't fancy... two of the three are just someone having an instrument along that led to dancing and drumming and laughing and singing along. That is awesome.

I want to be able to do that. You know what it is also? I want to, in my own weird way, contribute to a party or gathering. I cannot quite describe it as I'm not really introverted, but I'm not really extroverted either. I am quite good at talking in front of people or talking in groups for work, or causes, etc, but for socializing? I'm pretty lousy. I have never, ever been the life of the party. I think it's because I'm too tight. Or...I am always so much in control, can't let down. Something like that.  Being able to throw in music, would allow my expressive/fun side to come out more I think.

With that said, I'll never be good enough for that really anyway, I'm pretty sure, but I can pretend I will be for now!

UPDATE: I wrote this post over a week ago. I no longer have a queue of posts waiting to go up. This is the last of the pre-written posts. My instruments are about to be shipped, a learning book was just shipped today. So, much of the "what ifs" are about to disappear. Now it will be time to learn this thing. And I desperately need a healthy distraction. Trump's election and first week plus has done a doozy for my sleep, my anxiety level (and I'm not an anxious person) and for morale everywhere. Here's hoping this music thing does what I hope it will do (without driving everyone in the house mad!)

What's easiest? And Resistance!

All this time I am googling and googling things on accordions. There are so many types and so many voices. One thing I kept noticing was that a lot of advice for playing kept popping up from a site called melodeon.net However, their site was down. I had no idea if it was just recently down, or if it was like many old sites that still will show articles, but you can't click on them to read the articles.

The more I googled, the more I wondered about diatonic accordions. Sites say they are easier to learn. Youtube videos showed me that they could be played with just a few notes. Most of the time you play one note with the right hand and one note with the left hand. You still work the bellows, and there is some unique bellow movement you need to do with many types of these accordions (not all - more on that in a future post), but it was making me be more curious.

Another thought that kept coming to my mind is that piano accordion is half piano. My luck with piano is so terrible, so there was so hesitation there, but also I noticed a couple of other things - accordion playing and melodeon playing, while there is over lap. It's not the same. Like listen and pay attention to this waltz on the piano accordion.

And now this one on a melodeon.

See the difference? Both are lovely. Both are simple tunes... but look how much of a beast a piano accordion is and how much she has to move her fingers compared to the melodeon? PLUS side to that is that piano accordions can play in any key - unlike melodeons, but then there is the Chromatic Button Accordion that is more intuitive for this layout that can do it all. The piano accordion is really only easier if you already play piano - I do not and most of the stuff I think I'll ever play will be simple tunes. I am 47 years old, after all! Not such a spring chicken to be learning a whole new instrument!

Here's a waltz on a chromatic Button Accordion (CBA)

So, I googled and googled and learned more and more what I liked and didn't. What I thought would be a simple "I'll just get an accordion" opened my eyes to how much more there was to it! But, that's the next post!
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Another addendum: Yesterday was inauguration day. I didn't watch it. I couldn't. But I did help with childcare at work so that adults could have a discussion of what Resistance to do now. And then I attended and helped out with this Resistance Un-Ball. There was open mic... I have never been able to do open mic - how lovely it would be to pick up an instrument and play a piece to unite people and bring strength and joy. I think that will be a future post.

As soon as I send this blog post off, my husband and I are off the the Women's March in Washington, DC. Of my circle, every single local woman I know is planning on attending - several are flying or driving in. I'm about positive the gathering will be bigger than yesterday's Inauguration - and it's happening around the globe. RESIST!